Day 12

Well, it looks like SOME OF YOU didn’t follow the etiquette tips we posted, did you? At least 30 dozen people were trampled during the post-show, the gladiators reported 9134 mandatory beheadings, and the audience participation was dreadful, did you guys even TRY? Your inconsiderateness has negatively impacted the health of our dear, dear, hybrids! If they don’t get enough exercise before a meal, they get indigestion.

Day 11

The coliseum opens today, and I’m sure we’re all very excited, so here are some etiquette tips and general bits of advice:

1. Be very polite to the gladiators! They’re responsible for your night’s entertainment and have standing orders to promptly behead anyone impolite to them.

2. If you (a member of the audience) are chosen to come up on stage and participate, be sure to make note of the exits ahead of time. You’ll need the speed advantage if you want to escape the hybrids with more than one limb remaining.

3. During the post-show, be sure to make your escape in an orderly fashion, you wouldn’t want to accidentally trample someone, would you?

Day 10

As we mentioned previously, multiple vacancies in the dinosaur wing have suddenly opened up due an accident involving several dozen hybrids escaping. Anyone whose original place of assignment is no longer inhabitable should report there immediately. Everyone else should be on the lookout for, glowing clouds, shimmering walls, hissing from the ceiling, and sudden lightning bolts and/or explosions. If you do see a hybrid, contact a physicist immediately as they have been specially equipped with crossbows for facing these sorts of threat.

Day 9

Today is a monumental occasion! The new heavy cannon is ready to test, and the sector with the worst performance record is going to be the target (looking at you, sector 54). If you are planning to watch the explosion, we recommend using the observation platforms in sectors 33, 63, and 12. If you are an unlucky resident of sector 54, then you will not be permitted to leave starting today. If you managed to get out of sector 54 ahead of time, you can request to be reassigned to the dinosaur wing, which recently had several spots opened.

Day 8

The far northern sectors are offline. Typically, a sector going offline wouldn’t be a huge deal and we’d just have it fixed, but seeing as this was the sector where the spider army lived, there is considerable cause for concern. We have had no reports from the either doctor in charge of the spider project (Dr’s Rood Aka, and Sid Orak) and we have reason to suspect they are slowly conquering the northernmost sectors to build an army before heading southwards. Therefore, all law enforcement and military units are being withdrawn from sectors 90 and southward, personnel in these categories should proceed to sector 91 for re-assignment.